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Thursday 22nd
Left Heathrow on time and settled down for a comfortable, if long, flight. Expected to land 11 hours later in Sri Lanka's Colombo airport.

Best laid plans....

During the flight, somewhere over Turkey, the onboard flight map suddenly switched to show the destination as Dubai. Half-hour later the captain announced a "problem with hydraulics" and we needed to make a "routine" stop. 45 minutes later the destination changed again to Abu Dhabi.

We landed approx 4 hours after the discovery of the fault, which leads you to believe that it couldn't be serious; otherwise we would have landed immediately at the nearest airport. Having said that, the landing was one of the most "interesting" I have ever had! It almost seemed like the pilot was attempting a handbrake turn or practicing a series of emergency stops. It was almost exhilarating, but a bit too scary to be sure. One theory put forward was that we had to land at Abu Dhabi as it had the longest runway and ended in safe, soft, sand. Sounds reasonable, but not a comforting thought.

We had virtually no information from the pilot or cabin crew other than an attempt would be made to repair the plane and then we would be on our way again. This could take 3 hours so we disembarked and entered the airport departure lounge. After 3 hours, with no information, no announcements and no complimentary beverages, a few of the peasants staged a mini revolt. We finally found a member of the Sri Lankan staff, after pilots and cabin crew had left the airport, and we were told we would be taken to a hotel for the night. The official did say that "transport would be a problem" and that he "wasn't sure" what the names of the hotels were, but everything would be ok if we would just make our way out of the airport it would be appreciated.

At this point there were 222 confused, tired, worried and extremely pissed off passengers who didn't really know what was going on and whether there really was accommodation arranged. There was a lot of confusion. Some were saying not to leave as once you were through immigration you would no longer be their problem and would be on your own. The worst part of all of this was the total lack of airline representation and no communication. Eventually I spoke to one of the Arab guys on immigration and he assured me that buses were waiting, hotels had been booked and it was ok to go through. He even accompanied us to the exit, showed us the buses (and missing airline reps), and then walked me back to the immigration hall so that I could assure the other passengers that everything was cool.

Friday 23rd
Finally arrived at the hotel at 04:30 a.m. Local time (3 hours ahead here) and was allocated our room. Suddenly things looked brighter. The hotel was excellent and the room fantastic. Huge executive suite with sitting room, bedroom, bathroom and another, separate, toilet room. We managed about 4 hours sleep and had breakfast in our room and then mooched for a few hours. Superb lunch, checkout at 14:30 for a flight at 17:00. Looking good. After checkout we boarded a hotel bus and then sat for 30 minutes waiting outside the hotel. Once again, no communication, no idea why we were stuck. The heat and humidity outside was incredible and the bus air conditioning inadequate so this was a very unpleasant 30 mins.

Arrived at the airport at 15:40 and waited for gate announcement. This turned into another farce where we queued, waited, moved, and then repeated - all with the usual total lack of communication. Boarded the plane at 18:45. It is now 19:30 and we are still sitting on the tarmac with no idea when, or even if, we might take off.

2 days into the holiday, not even arrived, still got a 4-hour flight and road trip ahead of us. I could really do with a nice relaxing holiday to get over this one!
20:10 start take off process.

Saturday 24th
Arrived without incident at Colombo airport 02:10 local time (4 hour flight - we are now 5 hours ahead of UK). 30 minute car ride to hotel, arriving 03:30. We were very quick through baggage claims and customs.

First view of hotel, in the dark, and tired, was "looks ok". It is only 3 star so we are not expecting much, and certainly not as good as Abu Dhabi.
As we were a day late you might have thought they had ample time to get our room ready. Nope. It's hard to imagine how frustrated we felt, but much too tired and hot (humidity even at this time of night is incredible) to do anything except wait for the porter to come back with keys to a different room.
At last in our own room ready for some real sleepy time.
Unfortunately the air conditioning was very loud and we didn't sleep too well. Also got a nice early (10 a.m.) call from the tour rep who wanted to welcome us, and sell some tours!
So much for a long sleep.

Lunchtime gave us our first chance too try the local food. Very nice. In the afternoon we found the local Tesco and stocked up on water and soft drinks. A lazy time at the pool followed by evening meal and drinks and we were ready for our first full night's sleep since Wednesday, and boy did we need it.

Sunday 25th
Best laid plans, once again.

We didn't expect our German neighbours to come home and decide to move their furniture around - by dragging it across the floor, at bloody midnight for Chrissakes! We didn't expect the 2 texts to come through on Rachel's phone (welcome to CellTel) at 03:00 a.m. But I did expect a lousy, sweaty, uncomfortable night, as Rachel wanted the aircon off. Oh well, at least I managed to sleep for a couple of hours after breakfast, and then had another lazy day in the sun.

Monday 26th
After another sleep disturbed night we woke fairly early and had a nice full day of relaxation on the beach. The weather forecasts for this week had looked grim but were wrong. We have had sunny hot days so far and almost cloudless skies. Met the rep again (he needed a second chance at us when we weren't so exhausted) and booked our only trip - for tomorrow - to visit the town of Candy, see the Elephants Orphanage, botanical gardens, a temple and the obligatory factory visit - Tea making.

Tuesday 27th
An early start today, wake-up call at 05:50 to be picked up by our own private guide. Would have been nice to have had a decent night's sleep but that seems impossible. Air con now dripping so best to turn off and suffer heat, but this makes it quiet too, so the dog barking, the late return of the Germans and the loud conversation in the corridor all prevent sleep yet again.

The trip to see some of the treasures of Sri Lanka was worth it. The elephants were excellent to see. There was a cute baby, born in the orphanage only 2 months ago, a wicked (huge) blind 65 year old beast who has apparently killed 6 workers in his time, and we even got to see all 65 of the elephants bathing in the river. A magnificent sight. I’ve never so many elephants together at one time.
We next visited a herb and spice garden, which was really quite interesting. They described the plants and which herbal remedy they are used for and we even got some "sample" treatment. A relaxing face massage each, body massage and sun burn treatment for me and some soothing ointment rubbed into the mosquito bite on Rachel's bum.
We tried to avoid the gem factory visit but our guide needed to check the air con in the car (would you believe it - damn thing was playing up!) so he dropped us at a convenient place whilst he went off to fix it. This was a happy coincidence for him as we had just passed the gem factory. We nearly bought Rachel a ring, and then remembered I don't have a job when we get home, so wisely saved our money. Next up was the Tea factory visit - boring!
A nice lunch overlooking the lake at Kandy and then a visit to the Buddhist temple. This was the highlight of the day for Rachel. You are not allowed in the temple grounds with bare shoulders or knees. Rachel wrapped a sarong around her shoulders and I had to wrap one round my waist as I was wearing shorts. I look good in a skirt and might stick with the fashion.
We asked the driver to skip the botanical gardens and just take us back to the hotel. They do drive in a very interesting way - makes it hard to sleep, but I managed. Rachel just sat petrified and amazed by how much one man could sniff - delightful, but at least he wasn't spitting too.

Wednesday 28th
A good night’s sleep at last. My new, secret plan worked. A long tiring day followed by a hearty meal with lots of wine and then copious amounts of whiskey. I don't think the wild sex had anything to do with it so I'll leave that bit out.
Woke for breakfast without a hangover and had another lazy day burning our beautiful bodies on the beach.

Thursday 29th
Our last full day. Another good night's sleep after yet more whiskey and wild sex (oops, not supposed to mention that). Made the mistake of having lots of beer too and suffered with a bit of hangover this morning.
Another lazy day reading books and keeping our burnt bits safe from the sun.

Friday 30th
Our driver picked us up promptly at 07:00 a.m. and drove us safely (miraculously!) to the airport. No incidents, no delays, we're on our way (11 hour flight).