We decided to book the small and exclusive Jamaica Inn Hotel in Ocho Rios. We were flying British Airways business class and were therefore looking forward to an excellent trip.

Wrong!

Our outbound flight was on 30th October 2024 at 13:25 so we had booked a taxi for 9 o'clock to get us there in plenty of time for check in and (of course) the Lounge, with free food and drinks.

Early in the morning we received a text and an email saying the flight had been delayed by 4 hours. This wasn't so bad as we had time to re-arrange our taxi.

Picked up at 1 o'clock for our new 17:25 flight and sailed through check in and security and made our way to the lounge. When called to the boarding gate it took longer than expected to get on board as everyone seemed to be doing a free-for-all and not listening to the announcements (nothing new there!)

Finally seated, drink in hand, waiting for take-off. This seemed to be taking a long time so I decided to start watching a film. I had watched about 40 minutes when the captain announced that there was a problem with the plane and it wasn't going anywhere. They would put us all up in the hotel at Gatwick airport and advise us by text when the re-arranged flight would be the next day. An evening meal was provided so all in all the service was pretty good even if we did all feel a bit pissed off.

The next day the flight was due to leave at 11:30 so we made our way through check in and security again (deja vu) and then into the lounge. Boarding this time was much better and we sat ready for take-off. Bing Bong, this is your captain speaking. We are sorry to announce that we have 17 bags that we can't identify who they belong to. We can't take off until each bag is personally identified by its owner.

Brilliant - another delay but it did get sorted within 30 to 45 minutes and then we finally took off for Jamaica. Thank goodness for that, drama's finally over and we can enjoy our holiday.

Wrong!

Flight was excellent and we landed slightly ahead of time in Kingston Jamaica. It's a small airport so it didn't take too long to taxi to the relevant area and then the seatbelt lights went off and we all got ready for the rush to get off.

Bing Bong. This is the captain speaking. We are very sorry but the auto guidance system has failed to line us up correctly with the exit door and we need to move the plane ONE FOOT closer. We cannot do this unless you all sit down and re-fasten your seatbelts.

You couldn''t make this stuff up! Needless to say some people were already bags in hand crowding the exit so they had to be herded back to sit down - any seat will do, just sit down!

After all this we were looking forward to some lovely relaxing time in the sun. More bad news. It rained nearly all day every day for the first week. FFS!

Surprisingly this did not spoil our holiday. We had fun anyway - Rachel even dragged me along to Bingo - and we met Tom Frakes the Masterchef champion from 2020. Nice guy and excellent chef as he provided 2 of the menus at the hotel.